The vast majority of conversations about the issue of gender in the music gear industry, and in broader society, are squarely focused on those who experience gender-based oppression (namely, cis women, trans, and non-binary folks). And rightly so.
But, I have some important and sad news-- the patriarchy negatively affects men, too! We are all wrapped up in this system and, unfortunately, we are all harmed by it. Any man who’s ever been told not to cry, not to wear pink, or called one of the myriad names to degenerate men by associating them with femininity or homosexuality, (as a part of their music creation, or outside of it), knows this is true.
So, men. For your sake and for the sake of everyone else, I’m going to be direct: we need your help to turn this sinking ship around.
I am, in no way, the first to note that in order to truly make change, cis men have to be a part of it. If cis women, trans, and non-binary folks could make that change on our own-- we would have done it a long time ago! Men, you don’t need to lead the change but we definitely need you to support the work being done. Thanks to those of you who are already doing this work, either as a business owner or an individual.
I’ll start by connecting this to the music industry, then I’ll provide a brief description of the dimensions of masculinity, and THEN I’ll follow up with the ways it affects you.
So! How is this connected to music and the music gear industry? Many men find music to be a space where they are allowed more flexibility in expressions of masculinity and emotions than they might have in the broader culture, though the rules for masculinity vary between different musical genres and subgenres. But despite this flexibility, it is often hard for even well-meaning music spaces not to replicate the dynamics happening in society at large (ever been to an anti-racist, anti-sexist punk show with all white men performing?).
Historically, feminists have argued FOR men, noting that while cis men are the ones with power in the system of patriarchy, individual men are trapped in it, as well. It’s also been noted that as society has shifted pretty quickly for women and their roles, it hasn’t really shifted for men, leading many men to feel unclear about what their role should be.
I’m going to frame this discussion in terms of Brannon’s Four Dimensions of Masculinity which he first described way back in 1976, and to my point above-- they still pretty much hold up. I will add that this manifests differently for folks based on different identities. However, since cis white heterosexual men are the norm in our society, the pressure for all men to uphold these traits is real:
Brannon’s Four Dimensions of Masculinity:
“No sissy stuff”- rejection of femininity—> This is pretty obvious. Women are considered less worthy than men, and therefore anything associated with femininity is bad. That might include pink or purple guitars, sparkles, paisley, or other ornate designs. Of course, this is not the case for some, but there are a lot of cis men who wouldn’t be caught dead with anything like that.
“The big wheel”- ambition, success, fame, wealth—> this is where men are pressured to make money, to be the breadwinner, to climb the corporate ladder or whatever; for musicians or those in the gear space, this might translate to being well-known for either their music, the gear they create, their music store, their youtube channel, and I would say that the constant need to buy more gear and show off your gear could fit into this, as well
“The sturdy oak”- confidence, competence, stoicism, toughness—> this is where men do not show emotion, they have to be tough. There are some exceptions for this in music spaces, so you might, in some genres or spaces, be able to show emotions or even mess with gender presentation a bit, but you might have to then make up for it in other ways, through wealth, popularity, the size and loudness of your amps, the number of guitars, the number of women you sleep with, or the like. It also means that since you have to be competent, you have to pretend to know things that you might not actually know, which is a lot of pressure and might also impede learning.
“Give ‘em hell”- machismo (breaking rules, sexual potency, contempt for women)—> all of these dimensions are wrapped up in American individualism, but here, the idea that no one can tell you what to do, that you can do what you want, is important. The idea of rejecting society’s rules is still very much at the heart of punk, rock, and metal. The sexual potency piece and contempt for women are less socially acceptable to flaunt than they used to be, but there are bits and pieces of that around still in some advertising and definitely in social media comments. Think about the memes that show, for example, a dude without a guitar and with a less traditionally attractive woman and then the same pic with him holding a guitar, but with a super attractive woman (sexual potency). Or the memes of a husband hiding his gear purchases from his wife (contempt for women). Or literally any social media comment on a gear page about a woman’s appearance instead of her playing (sexual potency and contempt for women).
So, overall, men feel pressure to maintain all four of these dimensions. And that can be A LOT. If you are a cis man, I have no doubt that you have felt that pressure and that it has affected you in immeasurable ways-- growing up and still today. As someone who has a 4 year old boy, I think about this every single day.
It turns out that there are a lot of negative outcomes for men as a result of this pressure. Men are more likely to:
—> die younger than women— Men engage in more risk-taking behavior, they are less likely to go to the doctor, and they are more likely to work in dangerous jobs leading them to die younger than women.
—> experience higher rates of violence— Men are victims of sexual violence, though mostly at the hands of other men, as well as domestic violence, neither of which are taken seriously; men are also much more likely to be victims of homicide than women, once again, at the hands of other men
—> experience higher rates of suicide— Men tend to use more deadly, aggressive, means in their suicide attempts and therefore, are more likely to die by them
—> experience higher rates of drug and alcohol use— Men are encouraged to engage in high levels of alcohol and in some cases, drug use, and therefore they are more likely to face problems associated with their use
—> experience societal pressure not to focus on parenting— Of course, men are pressured to have kids, but they are not pressured to be a caregiver; gender roles mean they are supposed to be less caring and more stoic in their relationships with their children, especially boys. Once again, this is changing somewhat, which is awesome. But it’s definitely still an issue. For example, dads who leave work early due to parenting responsibilities are seen as less committed to their jobs than mothers who are automatically viewed as less committed to their jobs
—> have fewer acceptable ways to express emotions— Men are allowed one emotion: Anger. And that often comes out in very negative and harmful ways. Many men spend much of their lives feeling a need not to cry or express vulnerability in any way. That is no way to live. Relatedly, they are told they are supposed to deal with things on their own, and not get help from anyone else, so they are less likely to reach out to a friend, family member, or a therapist if they have a problem.
—> experience a lack of trust in relationships and casual interactions— cis women, trans, and non-binary folks learn very early not to trust cis men. Of course, most men are not aiming to engage in harmful behaviors, but some very actively do. Unfortunately, they make the rest of you all look bad. And it means that we cross the street when we see you at night. Or sometimes during the day. Because we think that any cis man might do us harm. It’s sad that this is the case. But it doesn’t have to be.
—> have a presumption of heterosexuality— heternormativity is an expectation in our society, but the pressures for men are particularly high, which is also connected to
—> have an expectation to engage in sexual activity— the pressure to have sex as soon as possible as often as possible is a lot of pressure for boys and men. And it also leads them to engage in risky sexual situations, whether due to a lack of protection or because they are not fully committed to getting consent because the pressure to engage in this behavior is higher than the pressure not to potentially sexually assault someone. And that’s a really big problem.
—> have fewer acceptable interests, hobbies, or careers available to them— looking back at the dimensions of masculinity, this might lead men to only pursue hobbies or careers that fit within those dimensions— namely ones that make a lot of money, lead to power, or involve some sort of physical risk-taking (for example, playing sports over music). If they want to be a teacher or nurse, any job that involves caretaking, might get shut down, as well as a job that doesn’t make a lot of money. For example— being a musician.
So, the moral of the story here is that the patriarchy is harmful to everyone, even cis men, who are the ones who benefit from it most. Men should have access to their emotions, they should be able to pursue hobbies and interests that they want, they shouldn’t feel pressure to drink themselves to death… I could go on.
The work of making change in the music gear industry is not just in representation of and expectations of cis women, trans, and non-binary folks. It’s also about changing the expectations and representation of men in the industry and beyond.
This is a systemic issue and it affects each of us individually. But if we can upend the system, everyone will feel freer to move in the world and live the lives that they want to live-- to create the music they want to create. And everyone wants that, right?
Additional Resources:
Scene on Radio’s Podcast Series: Men
The Mask You Live In by the Representation Project
Anything by Tony Porter, Jackson Katz, or Byron Hurt